Lame duck

Dear President Bush,

I pay too much for gas. It is 4 times more expensive than it was when you took office. You haven't done anything.

Please get off your ass and do something about it.

That is all.

Make it work?

I swear to god some people should need a license to use technology. I'm not kidding. Some of this stuff is common sense!

"Well the other guy told me I needed the CD and that you would use the CD when you got here to fix my problem. I couldn't find the CD and I have no idea where it is. I thought you could just make it work anyway."

Umm, wtf? Even if you have NO CLUE what a CD even is, if someone who is a professional in the field explains to you that he must have the CD before continuing, don't you think he really means it? Should it be possible that we could have "(made) it work anyway" without the CD don't you think we would have done that in the first place you freakin' idiot??

I'm tellin ya, lately people's stupidity is multiplying exponentially. Stupid should hurt. I know my brain is starting to hurt lately.

Anthony Bourdain

Ha ha ha! Heard a great Anthony Bourdain quote
"If it's got four legs and is slower and stupider than you, then please pass the salt!"

I love that. Yummah!

So who is this Anthony Bourdain character? He is a chef and author. He wrote "Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly." Bourdain is also the host of Travel Channel's culinary and cultural adventure program, Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations.

Mr. Bourdain has a no-nonsense attitude towards life and cooking. He calls 'em like he sees 'em and doesn't necessarily care what others' take on that call is. I like that. Someone who tell you to suck it up...this is the way it will be.

Wikipedia had a nice write up:

Known for consuming exotic and daring ethnic dishes, Bourdain is famous for eating sheep testicles in Morocco, ant eggs in Puebla, Mexico, a raw seal eyeball as part of a traditional Inuit seal hunt, and a whole cobra — beating heart, blood, bile, and meat — in Vietnam. According to Bourdain, the most disgusting thing he has ever eaten is a Chicken McNugget, though he did declare the warthog rectum he ate in Namibia and the fermented shark he ate in Iceland as among 'the worst meals of his life.'

Bourdain has been known for being an unrepentant drinker and smoker. In a nod to Bourdain's (at the time) two-pack-a-day cigarette habit, renowned chef Thomas Keller once served him a 20-course tasting menu including a mid-meal "coffee and cigarettes" dish of foie gras with tobacco-infused custard.[11] However, Bourdain has stopped smoking as of the summer of 2007 because of the birth of his daughter.

Because of his liberal use of light profanity and sexual references in his television show No Reservations, the network has prepended viewer discretion advisories to each segment of each episode.

Adding to his untamed image, Bourdain is a former user of cocaine, heroin, and LSD. In Kitchen Confidential he writes of his experience in a trendy SoHo restaurant in 1981: "We were high all the time, sneaking off to the walk-in [refrigerator] at every opportunity to 'conceptualize.' Hardly a decision was made without drugs. Pot, quaaludes, cocaine, LSD, psilocybin mushrooms soaked in honey and used to sweeten tea, Seconal, Tuinal, speed, codeine and, increasingly, heroin, which we'd send a Spanish-speaking busboy over to Alphabet City to get."

Bourdain is also noted for his not-so-subtle put-downs of celebrity chefs like Emeril Lagasse (though he has since warmed up a little to Lagasse, who has appeared with Bourdain in an episode of No Reservations), Sandra Lee, and Rachael Ray (who is the butt of many jokes on No Reservations). Bourdain fully expressed his feelings about certain Food Network personalities in a popular blog entry from February 2007,[1] and appears to be irritated by both the overt commercialism of the celebrity cooking industry and its lack of culinary authenticity. Bourdain has recognized the irony of his transformation into a celebrity chef and has, to some extent, begun to qualify his insults. He has been consistently outspoken in his praise for chefs he admires, particularly Thomas Keller, Masa Takayama, Gordon Ramsay, Eric Ripert, Ferran Adrià, Fergus Henderson, Marco Pierre White, and Mario Batali.

His book, The Nasty Bits, is dedicated to "Joey, Johnny, and Dee Dee" of the Ramones. Bourdain has declared fond appreciation for their music, as well as other early punk bands such as Dead Boys, Television and The Voidoids. Additionally, Bourdain writes in Kitchen Confidential that the playing of music by Billy Joel in his kitchen was grounds for immediate firing (ironically, Joel is a fan of his). In a Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations episode in Sweden, Bourdain proclaimed that his all time favorite album (his "desert island disc") is the groundbreaking punk record Fun House by The Stooges; he also revealed that he despises Swedish pop supergroup ABBA.

Beaker the Birdie

About three weeks ago I was taking the plastic winter seal off of the windows. I looked outside, and saw something odd on the ground. After a moment or two I realized that it was about a 2-day old bird.

Being the nature boy I of course had to go check it out. Yep. It was a bird. I couldn't find the nest at the time, so I dug a little hole and put him in it, to keep him warm. I figured either mom and dad were killed (there were a ton of adult feathers on the ground) or if they weren't, they'd come back for it.

Nupe. Nuttin. And I of course told Leah, who is the bird-queen. This, despite my nature-boy instincts of letting nature take its course, resulted in us bringing the bird in. The thing was shivering and barely moving...probably very close to death.

That was three weeks ago. After Leah handfeeding the thing for weeks he has grown up a bit. Now I have a fully feathered avian friend who won't leave me alone. Currently he is preening himself whilst comfortably sitting on my leg. He also likes to preen my ear (?) and the back of my neck. Soaring through the house terrorizing the cat is high on his list too.

Mojo (cat) is not quite sure what to think of this thing. He watches, wide-eyed, and you can see the hunting instinct behind those big black doll's eyes. Suddenly the bird will make an abrupt movement and the cat will run away.

I won't mention what species he is...it may or may not be illegal to keep said birdie. Nonetheless, he is pretty much here to stay. I did eventually find the nest and it appears that mom and dad either kicked him out or he fell out, because they came back. (there was another baby in the nest).

The bird has been named Beaker, after my favorite muppet of all time. He kind of makes "mee mee mee mee" sounds just like Beaker did on the Muppet show. Beaker is of course confused and probably sees me as Dad and Leah as Mom, but that is ok.

Contrary to popular belief, I am not a bird hater. Yes, I hate Leah's parakeets because they are noisy, and I classify them as "non-interactive" pets. Yes, there are pet-interaction ratings.

* Non interactive: they sit in a cage and want nothing to do with you. Boring. Waste of money imo.

* Interactive, high-maintenance: you can do things with these pets. They'll play with you or be your friend. But they require a lot of care. Dogs that need to be walked, for example. Not high on my list, but acceptable.

* Interactive, low-maintenance: Same as above, but they just do what they want when they want. It's a bit of a trade off...if the pet doesn't want to play or be around here, the pet goes somewhere else. Cats fall into this category. My favorite category.

Beaker is definitely an interactive pet. Relatively low maintenance, especially seeing how I don't know much about birds so Leah takes care of it anyway ;)

As a matter of fact he is so interactive that he is currently cleaning the hair on the back of my neck. It was quite the effort to persuade him to get off my keyboard. He was quite comfy there, but this means I can't type...

Meee meee meee!!!

Indy!

I am really getting tired of the Indiana Jones theme.

Want to buy a cheeseburger? ...Indiana Jone theme plays

Want to buy a large coke at the movies? ...Indiana Jones theme plays

What, is it 1981 all over again??

How to boil water

Step 1: Open all cabinets and stare blankly at the empty shelves
Step 2: Proceed back into the living room to surf the net a bit more
Step 3: Repeat step one, this time with hands on hips
Step 4: Ok, too hungry to keep staring. Settle on ramen noodle lunch
Step 5: Boil water

That's usually how my lunch goes, when I actually remember to eat it.

Returning

It's time to return home. Yay! I miss the country. This city stuff is for the dogs. Everyone is always in a hurry. The funny thing is, where I am is not a 'big city' like Los Angeles. There really aren't any high rises...not what I expected.

Regardless, if you sit back and watch, it seems as if everyone is in a race against the clock. The light turns from red to green and everyone in the six lane highway floors it. Maybe they enjoy wasting the extra gas? I'm not sure.

The locals walking up and down the street always have a cel phone strapped to their heads. They almost run from place to place. They ignore the crosswalks and then get pissed off when a driver honks their horn.

The tourists, on the other hand, are on the opposite end of the spectrum. They meander about in a haphazard way. In their touristy bliss they are completely ignorant of the fact that they are taking up the entire sidewalk, causing a people jam behind them.

ARG I hate the city. Too much blacktop. The air stinks. You can't hear birds. You can't see birds. No squirrels, no frogs, no hills, no rocks, none of the country things I like. Get me out of here!

On that note, I have already streamlined the departure process tomorrow. Everything is packed, and packed well. My backpacking/camping packing stills have been put to the test in refilling up a carry on with everything I needed...plus more stuff I picked up at the Roadshow.

I am looking at the weather back home and finding that...ehh...it is going be stormy tomorrow at just the time I need to be landing. Wouldn't that just be a wonderful cap on the week? Why is it that every time I fly for a company it involves going through a thunderstorm.

I hate planes.


Here are some pictures for your viewing pleasure. The view from my room and some shots of the street I'm staying on.



Here's another one



And one of the many special guests we had, Wil Smith of Hollywood fame!

Midweek

Today was fun. I started off with a Hilton catered breakfast of eggs, french toast, bacon, sausage, and various other artery-clogging foods. I then went over and worked the media booth as I had volunteered for (starting at 645 AM).

This is when the fun started...over to my little corner saunters the founder of the company I work for. Wow. Ok he really is a real person! Well actually I already knew that because he called me a few weeks ago to make sure I was ok after being hit by a drunk driver...but wow, here he was in the flesh. The thing that was even better was that he talked to me like a real person. He talks to EVERYBODY like they are real people that are to be respected....not just employees of a corporation. I even got my pic taken with him...hee hee.

I picked up a lot of tips and tricks on how to conduct my business. The funny thing is, because I was a special "guest" my attendance at today's function was not mandatory. We were certainly welcome to attend, but definitely not required. Therefore the information was geared more towards upper management.

Despite this, I was more than able to hold my own at a table of my fellow coworkers. I knew most of the people at the table so there was definitely ease in the air. Surprisingly I was able to bring up several key points and catch phrases (that I had just learned from my specific meetings on Monday and Tuesday) that got definite positive reviews. It also helps that I am definitely more customer facing in my line of work than the managers are. I'm not saying they don't talk to customers; These people certainly do. It's just I get a much broader view.

Well, at least I got my name out there a bit.

This evening nobody else was really around. My manager is staying at a different hotel down the block, and I'm sure he would appreciate some "him" aka "not hanging around another employee" time, so I didn't bother him. My fellow special-guest brethren seized the opportunity of today being an "optional" day and headed over to Disney heaven.

I really didn't have any ambition to go waste close to $100 to get into a Disney park just to walk around. I don't ride things so it would have been pointless.

So I instead looked at a map to see what's around. There was this other things called "Downtown Disney" which apparently was free to get into. I was hungry, it was there, so I went on a walk. It's about a 25 minute walk but that was ok. I'm a hiker. Why wait 30 minutes for a shuttle when you can spend that time walking? Plus it burns off the calories you are about to consume.

I had some Mexican taco-things...5 bucks. Not bad.

AND WHY IS IT SO FREAKIN COLD OUT HERE????? I was told there should be sunshine and temps in the mid 70s. It hasn't gotten any warmer than about 65, and drops into the 50s at night. The breeze doesn't help and it has been cloudy all the time as well. Grrrr.

Tomorrow is a free day so I think I will go geocaching. Unfortunately I don't have my handheld GPS, only my car-based one, so I will be relying purely on Geocaching instinct!

Sleeeeeep

Ok the time difference is starting to catch up a little bit today.

The concert that was put on for us employees definitely made up for it, however. I can't say exactly who our two special guests were, but suffice it to say that a little Gin and Juice in Paradise City was in order. baaaawaaawaaaaaaa....gotta love the guitar. There must have been 3000 to 4000 people in attendance. Mostly managers, district, corporate...those types.

Ah. Well tomorrow should be interesting. I'm going to bed now. (10:48 local time, 1:48 body time)

...zzzz....

Huh, whaaa...where am I? Oh yeah, a hotel.

What a comfy bed!

OH YEAH, I forgot to mention, you have to subtract 3 hours from the time that blogger is indicating I posted at. That makes up for Pacific time.

Finally here

Well I showed up about 3 hours ago. There was a guy holding a sign for my company at the baggage claim, all dressed up like a chauffer. I knew I was getting picked up, but ok.

Suffice it to say, I was quite surprised when he brought me to a Caddy limo to take me to the hotel. Just me...nobody else on the plane was part of my company. Fun fun! He was quite a pleasant person to talk with. Some pointers of where to get good, non-touristy food were given to me. I also found out he came over from Romania after winning the green-card lottery about 14 years ago. That's pretty awesome.

Anyway, so I check into the Doubletree hotel. Apparently I have a two room, two bed suite all to myself. This thing has a fridge, microwave, two tvs, a couch, two beds, nice bathroom, a marble desk to work on, a few cushy chairs. The company also paid for my internet access, so I do not have to do it myself or use the work phone as a data modem! (which is odd, because I am not getting ANY sprint service in here but my personal verizon phone is working fine. Weird.)

So right now my laptop is telling me it is 2 in the morning, which it is back home. But it is only 10:30 here. Remarkably, despite being in airports and on plans for the last 11 hours, I am not very tired. My body is supposed to think it is 2 am, isn't it? Huh. I won't ask questions. I like the 'sleeping in' factor of the 3 hour difference makes.

The flight was most unremarkable in terms of bumps. They played a movie, and I got my plane food for $5. Not that bad, actually. Not good enough to completely fill me up, however. I did have to hit up the lounge downstairs for a margarita and some buffalo wings. Yummah!

After some interesting conversation with the barkeep and the only other patron around I have decided to retire to the tv and couch until bedtime. I'll up some pics of the room for you all.

Oh, and I wish my damned ears would pop. No problems from home to Chicago, but from Chicago here omg I thought my head was going to explode upon landing. I have always had ear issues and now it sounds like I'm living in a barrel. At least it doesn't hurt anymore. If past airplane trips are any indication, I will have this lovely feeling for about a week. Actually, it should be clearing up just in time for me to get back on a plane to come home. Vunderbar!

I'm out, PEACE!

Halfway there...

Well I'm just about halfway there. It is 4:11 local time...that's 5:11 my body time. I want a nap. I'm currently in O'Hare, chilling out at the only little terminal that does not seem busy. Maybe that's becaue the plane that is leaving from here is going to Amsterdam at 7 o'clock. Now Amsterdam would be fun...do you suppose they would miss me at the convention? Yeah, probably.

Anyway, the flight in was fine. The approach into the Windy City was a little bumpy, which was totally awesome as I attempted to get to the halfway point of the book I was reading. The snoring of the businessman next to me was quite annoying, too. I mean, c'mon, who is going to nap at noon on a Sunday???

I ate some suprsingly non-overpriced airport food. Yes, a little more expensive than a Subway, but the foot long turkey (real turkey mind you) with all the toppings I could think of was pretty yummyful.

I'm starting to get thirsty again despite all the water that I have been drinking. Time for a Sprite or something. That will also make nappy time go away.

I just realized that this place is insanely noisy. All these people, milling about aimlessly, what's it all about? All the hustle and bustle. I hate the city, I want to go back to the country, arg. It is hot and smelly here.

Yeah, speaking fo hot, it appears that this airport does not know what air conditioning is. I swear it's about 80 degrees in here. The wireless also is not free if you want to go online with your laptop. Luckily the work phone has a data plan and I can get online with that. Hurray!

Ok I am going to go check the weather and stuff, find something to drink, and then become one of those wandering zombies walking up and down the concourse.

Soon to be on a jet plane

Still packing for the trip to California. It's surprising how much one can fit in a carry on bag when one is used to packing for hiking/camping...

I will be sure to update you all as things progress!

International Geocache

So I picked up a travel bug the other day when Geocaching. For you non-geocaching types, a travel bug is a dog tag with a unique serial number that is attached to...something. In this case, a little stuffed lion. The 'bug' as it is called, gets transferred from cache to cache and people log the visits online. Some bugs have goals, others just want to hop along so the owners can see where it goes.

The bug I picked up has a goal. His name is Leo der Löwe, he hails from Germany. As far as I can tell he comes from a school just off the L106. At least that's what Google tells me. Apparently some 2nd graders put him in a cache and asked that people send postcards back. What a great idea!

He has a little tag that reads:

"Hallo! Mein Name ist Leo. Ich bin das Maskottchen der Klass 2a aus Appen und mochte auf Reisen gehen. Wenn ihr Lust habt, konnt ihr ja eine Karte an meine Klasse schicken, damit die wissen, wo ich gerade bin und was ich so erlebe. Ich freue mich auf alle Abenteuer."

As far as I can tell, it translates to:
Hi! My name is Leo. I am the mascot of class 2a (2nd grade)from a town called Appen and have gone on/want to go on a journey. If you want, can you send me a ?postcard/map? of where I have been/what I have experienced? I look forward to adventures.

Of course I don't speak fluent German, I'm just trying to piece together literal translations that make some sense. Basically the class would like a postcard to chronicle where Leo has been, and they would love to hear from him.

...slaps head

I know accidents happen. I feel bad for the people who's house burned down. But just look at thes quote as to how it started and tell me you aren't saying to yourself "how STUPID!"

Springfield fire department spokesman Dennis Leger said the fire started after residents put out their cigarette butts inside a planting pot that was filled with wood chips.

Oh my.